Thursday, April 16, 2015

Lazy, Sloppy Shit Makes Me Angry

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm not anal-retentive about neatness. I'm not a slob but I'm not OCD about cleanliness. My house isn't always immaculate and neither is my office at work, but they don't look like something from Hoarders either.

Things have their place. Things, for the most part, should be put in their place when you're finished with them. Leftover things and scraps of things and useless things and broken things need to be put in the big round thing. If you use up a thing that others use, replace that thing with a new thing.

Nothing irritates the living bejeezus out of me more than walking into a bathroom and finding a new roll of toilet paper resting atop the empty spool. Seriously? Some unnamed engineer, decades ago, devised a toilet paper dispensing system so simple that even a caveman could understand how to remove the empty cardboard tube and replace it with a nice, new full roll of TP. Apparently many of the businesses I frequent don't employ cavemen.

If you really want to piss me off, leave a few empty drink cans and bottles sitting around. Oh, and some empty candy wrappers and potato chip bags, too. For added effect, leave some dried spilled beverage on the table or desk top, and sprinkle with a few crumbs of whatever you ate last.

Waste basket full? No, you don't need to take a few minutes to dump it and put in a new bag - just keep on throwing your offal into it until it's so full your stuff bounces off and accumulates around the can like satellites in Jupiter's orbit. The ants will appreciate it, too.

Keyboards shouldn't crunch when you type on them. If this happens to you, it's a safe bet someone has eaten while working and was too busy to a) blow off the keyboard with a can of compressed air, or b) move it out of the way completely while inhaling their Big Mac and fries.

All these seem to be quite common in many workplaces, and apparently the old adage, "You don't live like this at home, do you?" is an unknown saying around the office. Either that, or the people who work there are just shiftless, filthy bums who do live like that at home and couldn't care less about what their place of business looks like to customers.

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